Pain In The Glass
Frosty windows? No problem. There are some winter car hacks for that.
Park facing east. The sun (also) rises (a new low in cheap jokes – ed.) and defrosts for you.
Put some rubbing alcohol and water in a spray bottle. The alcohol will break down the ice. Spray, let sit for a minute or two, and wipe away. Similarly, hand sanitizer will loosen frozen locks and the common sanitizer squeeze bottle makes for a handy applicator. Icy-Hot, or any similar heating rub will work on locks too.
Want to keep ice from forming at all? Get a spray bottle and fill it with a solution of three parts vinegar to one part of water. Spray windows down when you get home at night. It won’t keep off snow, but it will keep ice from forming beneath it.
Tired of windows fogging up? Wipe down the inside of windows with shaving cream. It creates an invisible film on the glass, which prevents it from fogging up.
You should have some left over from No Shave November. Besides, it’s about time your dumb ass got some decent shaving soap and a brush. Learn to shave like a man already.
One of the best winter car hacks is to use a car cover if you park outside. Simply drape the vehicle, then whip it (and whip it good) off in the morning. Shake off the snow and go. Here’s a clip:
Some other goodies
One of the oldest winter car hacks is to apply weight at the rear of the vehicle – usually putting some sandbags in the trunk or in the bed of a truck – which puts more weight on the rear wheels. Since most cars these days are front wheel drive, the weight is taken care of by virtue of the engine.
Most people know this trick, but it bears mentioning since most of the vehicles one sees in a ditch are morons that drive pickups. Gee, I sure wish I had a truck; it would be socially permissible for me to drive like an idiot too. Get some sandbags already Billy Ray, and learn how to read.
Occasionally get stuck in the snow? Put a bag of kitty litter in the car. If you get stuck, spread the litter in front of the wheels. The grit creates traction. Sand, gravel, or even cement mix will do the same trick.
Forgot to get kitty litter? Floor mats will work in a pinch.
Since we’re on the subject, a small shovel is a decent purchase. If you don’t want one taking up space, head to any sporting goods or military surplus store, and get a folding shovel. An E-Tool is a good purchase anyway.
So there are a few winter car hacks. Know any good ones we missed? Sound off!