The best car jokes that are SFW (Pt. 2)

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A car is for sale outside a "Clown Motel."

The best car jokes are simply a matter of perspective. Just don't think too hard or you'll miss them. (Photo Credit: CC BY/Bruce Fingerhood/Flickr)

You’re back for more of the best car jokes around. They’re funny, and they’re also clean enough to share with young children. So get going – there will be time enough for other things. Jokes must be told! CLICK HERE if you want in on the ground floor of this party, unless you’re looking for auto loan solutions.

Best car jokes No. 3 – Keeping up with the Yugos

A man in a Yugo pulls up to a stoplight beside a Rolls-Royce. The Yugo driver rolls down the window and shouts over to the Rolls-Royce owner.

“Hey, buddy, that’s a nice car. You got a phone in your Rolls? I’ve got one in my Yugo!”

“Yes I have a phone.” The driver of the Yugo says, “Cool! Hey, you got a fridge in there, too? I’ve got a fridge in the back seat of my Yugo!”

Not to be outdone, Ronnie Rolls fires back.

“Yes, I have a refrigerator.”

“That’s great, man! Hey, you got a TV in there, too? You know, I got a TV in the back seat of my Yugo!”

At this point, Mr. Rolls is getting annoyed.

“Of course I have a television. A Rolls-Royce is the finest luxury car in the world!”

But Yugo man is not impressed.

“Very cool car! Hey, you got a bed in there, too? I got a bed in the back of my Yugo!”

That tears it. The Rolls man drives straight toward the dealership, and demands that a bed be installed in the back of the car. Satin sheet, brass trim and everything – it’s quite impressive.

The following morning, the Rolls driver begins searching for the Yugo. After an all-day search, he finds the Yugo parked. Ronnie gets out of his Rolls, and walks up to the driver’s side window of the Yugo. The window is fogged over from the inside. He knocks on the window, and there’s no answer. He continues to knock, until the Yugo driver rolls down the window and pokes his head out. His hair is soaking wet.

“I now have a bed in the back of my Rolls-Royce,” says Mr. Rolls, arrogantly.

“You got me out of the shower to tell me THIS?!” exclaims the Yugo driver, punctuating it with a pronounced eye roll.

Best car jokes No. 4 – Battle of the sexes

A woman is out for a Sunday drive. As she pulls onto a straightaway that runs through the center of town, a car passing in the other direction slows down. The other driver rolls down his window, leans out and shouts “PIG!” to the woman as she passes. The woman immediately counters, yelling “JERK!”

The two drivers continue on their way. As soon as the woman rounds the next curve, she crashes into a giant pig planted in the middle of the road.

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Best car jokes No. 5 – One liners for the kids

  • What did the tornado say to the sports car? … Want to go for a spin?
  • What part of the car is the laziest? … The wheels, because they’re always tired!
  • What would you call the USA if everyone had a pink car? … A pink car-nation!
  • What would you call the USA if everyone lived in their cars? … An in-car-nation!
  • When is a car like a frog? … When it is being toad!
  • What happens when a frog parks in a no-parking space? … It gets toad away!
  • What has four wheels and flies? … A garbage truck
  • Who makes a living driving customers away? … A taxi driver!
  • What is worse than raining cats and dogs? … Hailing taxis!
  • Why do you need a license for a dog but not for a cat? … Cats can’t drive!



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