The best car jokes that are SFW (Pt. 1)

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A gaggle of clowns are stuffed inside a clown car.

Don't clown around. Read here for the best car jokes! (Photo Credit: CC BY/Joshua Heller/Flickr)

Heard any good car jokes lately? I’m not talking something you’d hear in a bar that involves rear-entry or putting things up the tail pipe. I’m talking good, family-oriented car humor. Here are some of the best car jokes around, because you’ve been working too hard and need a good laugh. These jokes about cars are of two kinds, some with set-up time and others that are simply one-liners. Enjoy!

Best car jokes No. 1 – He’s right behind us!

A Jaguar driver passes a Mini Cooper broken down on the roadside. Being a considerate denizen of the roadways, Jag man stops to help, affixing a tow-rope to the Mini so that he can haul it to the nearest mechanic.

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After 10 minutes of towing, a Porsche buzzes by them at a considerable rate of speed. Prideful and not to be outdone, Jag man floors it, forgetting that he’s towing a small car. The Porsche and Jaguar race down the road, and all the while, the Mini driver is trying in vain to get the attention of the Jaguar driver.

Mini fails to get Jag man’s attention, but the high-speed escapade does attract the attention of the police. The officer radios headquarters to report his startling discovery:

“Sarge, you’ll never believe this, I’ve just seen a Porsche and a Jaguar neck and neck doing 150 mph – and a dude in a Mini flashing his lights, blowing his horn and trying to overtake them!”

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Best car jokes No. 2 – How fast was that Interstate going?

A car is traveling so slowly down the highway that it attracts the attention of a State Trooper. The officer pulls the slow poke over.

“What have I done wrong, officer?” asks the driver.

“You are going 26 mph on a major highway. There is a law against that,” said the officer. “You must go at least 50 mph.”

“But when I turned on the highway, the sign said 26!”

“Sir, you’re driving on Interstate 26. That isn’t the speed limit!”

The officer notices a woman in the passenger seat whose face is as pale as a ghost.

“What happened to her?” he asks.

“I don’t know, but she has been that way ever since we got off of interstate 160.”

CLICK HERE for more of the best car jokes in captivity.

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