For the most part in automotive media, the test drive is an avenue for entertainment; it is wish fulfillment. The floor of reviews makes it nearly impossible for consumers to pick out individual points of insight that will guide them toward a more fulfilling automotive purchase. Playboy 55th Anniversary cover model Irina Olhovskaya certainly won’t change that, but the element of wish fulfillment for automotive and Playboy fanboys is certainly present in her work for BlondeDrive.tv. It’s a sexy, light-hearted look at automobile fascination.
Venus in a mud bog
The advertiser’s wet dream that once connected sex and cars has long since been a reality. Irina Olhovskaya needn’t remind us, but she is welcome to capitalize. In a bright red polyester racing skirt and bleached blonde hair that suggests ancient beaches of days and a cascading surf that invokes images of Venus from the clam shell, Olhovskaya is in the driver’s seat for a show whose tongue is firmly planted in cheek.
Jalopnik suggests that there may be no better way to put a car through its paces than by mud-bogging across a Russian field with a brash, unsubtly charming model who has not idea how to drive a manual transmission, but can sing the Soviet national anthem with panache.
Trading stout for sleek
“But for those of you worried that Mother Russia’s children want to return to the industrially mighty days of communism,” writes Jalopnik, “Irina was way more impressed with the Lamborghini Gallardo she tried out in another episode.”
The Lamborghini is the one you date, in Irina Olhovskaya’s estimation. But the ZAZ 968M she test drives in another segment for “Blonde Drive” is the utilitarian guy you ask to kill the spiders, but then show the door.
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No technical analysis here
While a technical overview of cars like the Citroen DS5 may be found at Car and Driver, BlondeDrive.tv gives viewers a visual treat that is only tangentially about cars. When Olhovskaya gets behind the wheel of a Maserati Gran Turismo in a one-piece racing suit and black leather gloves, it’s all about the sensual test drive, as the vehicle hugs the curves of a slalom while the camera hugs the curves of Olhovskaya. All the while, “Blonde Drive” is entirely unapologetic about this. On the contrary, it celebrates the fact that this is a car show for those men who would rather drive a Ukrainian supermodel.
The Renault Megane RS is “cosmic,” in Olhovskaya’s view, while the Astra GTC is desirable because the one she drives is red. It’s that kind of hard-hitting analysis that pales in comparison to the eyeful the (mostly) male viewers receive. By the time she intones that the MG6 smells like chocolate, what’s a turned on male to do? Watch another episode of BlondeDrive.tv, and maybe buy a sports car, among the more printable activities available.