A lot of people have probably heard that stupid Carrie Underwood song “Before He Cheats,” about trashing a cheating significant other’s prized car. Some people actually do trash a cheaters’ car, as an anonymous Englishman recently did after discovering his wife was going behind his back.
Viral video shows cheater’s car filled with horse droppings
Winner of “American Idol” Carrie Underwood had a hit song called “Before He Cheats,” which is about trashing a cheating/boyfriend’s prized 4X4, ostensibly a pickup. Regrettably the show still airs and her songs are allowed to be heard by human ears, despite Eighth Amendment protections against cruel and unusual punishment.
At any rate, an Englishman decided to take the idea to heart, according to the Daily Mail, filling his infidelitous wife’s prized Peugeot convertible with manure, sourced from her prized horse and filming it. The man is thus far unnamed, but the video has gone viral. The video avenger’s wife, Becky Jones, had profiles on dating sites boasting “my husband doesn’t know I’m on here…he’s a complete idiot.”
Hers isn’t the first cheater’s car to get trashed.
Not the grown up way
Usually if one catches their spouse/significant other cheating, the best option is to, as columnist Dan Savage put it, DTMFA, or Dump The MFer Already. As to what “MF” stands for, Google Samuel L. Jackson and you’ll figure it out.
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However, as stoic philosopher Heraclitus observed “it is difficult to fight against anger, for a man will buy revenge with his soul.” So trashing a cheater’s car will occur from time to time.
Sometimes, a spurned spouse will sell a cheaters’ car. According to The Telegraph in Aug. 2009, when an English woman sold her husband’s Porsche 911, with his prized wine collection in the trunk after catching him red-handed in the car – which she was making the car loan payments on no less – in the garage. She posted it to Gumtree, an English version of Craigslist, asking 2,000 pounds (less than $3,500) for it.
In Superior, Wisc., according to the Superior Telegram, a woman put her ex-husbands effects and GMC Yukon out in her yard, free for the taking, in May 2012. The SUV had been spray painted with the word “cheater” among other things and the tires had been flattened. Rubber-necking by passersby led to a traffic jam and the Yukon was towed.
A viral video in Dec. 2012, according to AutoBlog, showed a Brazilian woman bashing a cheating boyfriend’s car to bits with a sledgehammer. Within days, though, it was revealed to be a stunt, according to the Huffington Post.
Cheeky, but illegal
Granted, those are cheeky examples. Despite the wisdom of bad country music, police call damaging a cheaters’ car “vandalism.” That’s a crime. You will go to jail. You will not collect $200.
Take for instance, one Adam Hall, who in Dec. 2011, according to ABC, carved the word “sult” into his ex girlfriend’s car. Police caught him by administering a spelling test, asking him to write the sentence “You are a slut” during questioning. He spelled it “sult.”
In Portland, Ore., according to Oregonlive.com, a David M. Powers, recently separated from his wife, an FBI agent, loaded her work gear into her work car and set it on fire in Dec. 2012. The car exploded, shifting the garage off its foundation. He’s facing 10 years for destruction of government property.
Happy Valentine’s Day
Huffington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/12/11/cheating-spouse_n_2278946.html